Our house we made a home

Close your eyes, were making memories... that is what I say when we are doing something that I don't ever want to forget- and I want to remember that moment always. Being married to Jamey has taught me alot about life. I have come to learn so much about God's sense of humor and His determination to teach us who He is through our relationships. Jamey and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum in so many ways, and yet we both have specific strengths and weaknesses. Only God could make such goodness out of disparity. It makes perfect sense for us to be together, because where he is weak I am strong, and where I am weak he is strong. Together we become so much more than either of us could be alone. I live a life of happiness. Don't get me wrong! We are no different than any other married couple. I am constantly wishing he could be more like me and he is forever trying to mold me to be more like him. It's a human curse. If we would just step back from the situation a little bit we could see it is our differences that make us strong. We are getting close to moving into a new house. We have lived in this house now for 7 years. Which means we have had time to amass quite a mountain of stuff. Neither of us are pack rats, but we have 2 children now.... so you can imagine. We came to our current home right after we got married. I am sitting here looking at all the things I will be packing up soon and it is all my worldly possessions. Most of it is worthless to anyone but me. My life would continue to be a good life if all these things were gone, and yet I cling to them with fierce determination to preserve them. These "things" that surround me are representative of the life Jamey and I have built together. I like my stuff, it is a reflection of who I am. Nearly everything we own has a story, and I like that. These things we have collected over our lifetimes are valuable because they represent memories, not money. It makes me happy that my husband and I share a value system that is based on memories rather than possessions. Thinking about moving puts a HUGE lump in my throat. All 2 times that I have brought myself to talk about it, I have cried. There are so many things I will miss about this house. We spent a lot of time making it uniquely ours. The 1st night we spent here in this house is a memory I will have forever. It was the same day we closed on the house... talk about excitement! We were so excited about our "first house" we did it all by ourself. We got the key and we slept on a mattress in the middle of the floor. We re-did our kitchen first. The chandelier matched the wallpaper, I had never seen anything so weird. I painted our kitchen 3 times with 3 different colors before I got it right. In the process of getting it "right" I got it "wrong" everywhere else. I got paint everywhere. Jamey was over me painting after the 1st try. I even painted over the plug outlets because I wanted them to blend in, Jamey was not happy, but still he let me keep painting. Everynight I wash dishes, I smile because of the paint on the windows. When my dad and Jamey were laying tile in the kitchen, I came in, after they told me to stay out, and slipped in the acid they had on the floor that was eating up the previous glue. I was in shorts and the acid was covering my legs. I was screaming and stripping as I ran down the hall jumping in the shower trying to get the acid off. Those boys (dad and Jamey) were yelling over my crying "we told you to stay out of there- you never listen". All the trim and doors in this house were "peanut butter" brown wood. Ugly. I complained and wined about how bad I wanted it white and that we needed to do it before we started a family because the wood would just ruin the look of a nursery. One Saturday I came home from shopping and every door in this house was off its hinges and hanging in the garage. Jamey had painted them all- all 14 of them- and he was inside working on the trim. I knew it was time to start our family! Little Grayson was born and we lived at Childrens Hospital for 2 weeks, coming home with him after heart surgery and the smell of our home when we walked in the back door I remember like it was yesterday. There are nicks on the hardwood floor from when Grayson was 18 months old and he loved to throw his trains. I wish I could take this floor with me now... the nicks that used to make me CRAZY, melt my heart with happiness every time I see them. The backyard, one my favorites about this house, every birthday party Grayson has had was there. The little 2 inch step down from the patio down into the grass.... I remember when Grayson MASTER this as a "walker". He went from not being able to do it, then having to hold on, turn sideways brace himself and side step it down, to his first step off it. 2 inches seemed like 2 feet to him because he was SO small at 13 months when he started walking. Ahh as I am writing this and feeling my huge heart of memories Grayson has now gotten out of bed 3 times.. wanting water, wanting to know "whats that noise I hear out my window mama? I need to look", and "I need a different train to sleep with, I don't want this one anymore". This too will ONE DAY be a memory I can smile on and say that I miss the long hallway that leads to Grayson's room. That hallway was filled with trips to put Grayson back to bed after his many requests of "I am thirsty I need water", "I need to go tee-tee", "I need to go poop", "sing to me again mama", "I get in mama's bed now?" ONE DAY... but not today. Our bathtub is another great memory I will have of this house. It is huge. The man that built this house was a rather large man, so he had the tub and the shower made extra large to accommodate him. I don't know about him, but I am a bath woman and it sure has accommodated me over the past 7 years. I remember putting my bathing suite on and taking a bath with Grayson when he was 2 weeks old. Jamey filmed the whole thing and I loved that moment with him. In our home I have the memories of finding out I was pregnant, and the sorrow of my miscarriages, along with the prayers each month I was pregnant with Denton that God would let mew keep this one- and He Did! This house, we have made a home.... our home. At any given day, come over and you will find flip flops by the door, jackets slung over the backs of chairs, and magazines on any given surface. A perfect home to look like a magazine is a nice fantasy, but not reality. A coffee cup on the table, the remote on the chair, one of my many bags filled with daytime items yet to be put away...these are the little things that add life to our home. To leave this all behind puts a lump in my throat and makes me not want to go, it's a little to late for that. But its the memories we have made in this house that makes me want to stay here forever. I need to remind myself, moving does not mean abandoning the memories of what was- it just means making room for new memories. Picture is of us 7 1/2 years ago when our "family" first began and then our family now.